If I'm crying & upset & you supposedly care about me I expect you to come & comfort me. I dont care if you already did it, & i'm crying for the same stupid thing...I just wants to be comforted & listened to. Something happened with my mother where she made me feel really abd & all I wanted her to do was hod me & tell me that she was sorry but of course that will never happen. My mother will never admit shes wrong no matter what, & i hate that. All I want was her to hold me & of course that will never happen because i'm not her favorite kid. I'm the kid thats bad and loud, & has a problem with everything, & i'll always be that kid but that doesnt mean my problems dont matter. It doesnt mean when i'm upset over something she did, that she could go to sleep so easily why I cry myself to sleep. Its not fair. especially being the type of person i am i dont let things go, i dont know why but i cant & its killing me that shes a sleep right now. To top it all off my sister held me & comforted me once but i guess that was a one time thing cause once I started to get upset again she just pretended I didnt exist. All I want is my mom to wake up & tell me shes sorry & to hold me because if not its going to bother me all night. I know its insane & dramatic but thats the type of person I am & always will be. Its times like this were my mind wonders to an incredibly depressive state. A place where all I could think about is hurting myself...but i won't, i never do. There was times were I would cut because I couldnt handle all the emotions that I was going through, I didnt know how to make it stop or release them...& cutting was the only way I knew how to. But thankfully i stopped for a year, & things were going great until now. I promise to the few people that read this that i'll stay strong...I always do.
xoxo that girl Dee.