Venting/Rant #2 I just want someone to care...

If I'm crying & upset & you supposedly care about me I expect you to come & comfort me. I dont care if you already did it, & i'm crying for the same stupid thing...I just wants to be comforted & listened to. Something happened with my mother where she made me feel really abd & all I wanted her to do was hod me & tell me that she was sorry but of course that will never happen. My mother will never admit shes wrong no matter what, & i hate that. All I want was her to hold me & of course that will never happen because i'm not her favorite kid. I'm the kid thats bad and loud, & has a problem with everything, & i'll always be that kid but that doesnt mean my problems dont matter. It doesnt mean when i'm upset over something she did, that she could go to sleep so easily why I cry myself to sleep. Its not fair. especially being the type of person i am i dont let things go, i dont know why but i cant & its killing me that shes a sleep right now. To top it all off my sister held me & comforted me once but i guess that was a one time thing cause once I started to get upset again she just pretended I didnt exist. All I want is my mom to wake up & tell me shes sorry & to hold me because if not its going to bother me all night. I know its insane & dramatic but thats the type of person I am & always will be. Its times like this were my mind wonders to an incredibly depressive state. A place where all I could think about is hurting myself...but i won't, i never do. There was times were I would cut because I couldnt handle all the emotions that I was going through, I didnt know how to make it stop or release them...& cutting was the only way I knew how to. But thankfully i stopped for a year, & things were going great until now. I promise to the few people that read this that i'll stay strong...I always do.

xoxo that girl Dee.

For all you Hot Heads out there...

Having ADHD & just being a regular hot head it doesn't take much to get me angry. Probably over stupid things & nonsense. When i was younger it was a lot harder to control, a small fight with my mom or my siblings & i'd be screaming on the top of my lungs trying to make a point or something. But as I got older things started to change. I grew up & matured. But still there are times when I cant help but scream into my pillow trying to release my frustrations. But I've notice theres better ways to keep calm & let your emotions out, not just anger but a lot of others too. And as stupid as you think these ideas are you should try them cause they could help.

• Write in a journal, or a blog;)- express all your feelings out on to paper instead of keeping them bottled up. You could even try writing a letter to the person that you angery at or upset with & you dont even have to give it to them or send them. 
• Also on the topic of writing, Wattpad is a great site to let your imagination run wild. Creating stories that you've thought of & created could help with calming you down. 
• Listen to music- put in some headphones & blast the music. Its a way to just get lost in your favorite songs & let go of all the anger & hurt that you feel. 
• Read a book- my favorite escape from reality & all the problems I have. 
• Talk to someone- vent out all your frustrations & feelings. 
• Take a shower- as odd as it sounds it cold be a time where you just figure out all your thoughts & rationalize what you're feeling without anyone disturbing you. 

But thats all I have for right now, maybe i'll take my own advice. I hope you do too :) 

xoxo That Girl Dee.